Coincidence?

After our first year in Dubai we upped and moved. We liked our location but we were not so keen on our unwelcomed house guests....cockroaches. Plus the fact that the building was old and needed a lot of work.
We decided to move more into the desert. We drove around all day with a family friend and he introduced us to a lot of people and places. One thing struck me however was that it was quite isolated.
Even though the house prices were less there was nowhere to go if you needed a pint of milk or ran out of something. I liked the idea of being close to somewhere that could help us if we needed anything.
Then we tried a compound. We drove past a security gate explaining we were looking for somewhere to live. The security saw no threat and let us drive around it. There were around 80 villas in it and it had a pool, saunas, gym, shop and cafe. It was perfect. Yet there were no vacancies.
As we got to the bottom of the street to turn around NH, a family friend, spoke with someone outside of their house. She answered with a Welsh dialect.
As she spoke she was surprised to learn that this was where my husband was from. They spoke excitedly.
She invited us in and told us that she thought there was a vacancy coming up. We left a business card and she said she would phone if there was any news.
As we left I said to AWW that this place was ideal and offered us everything we needed. I wanted to be here more than anywhere else. Though it was a popular site for everyone, there was a waiting list.

A week later we had a call and a property came up. Even though there was a waiting list it seemed the owner of the compound was eager to have British ex-patriots in the community. We were offered the end house. It had a bigger garden than most and was close to everything. The garden was set up perfectly too. We took it and moved in as soon as possible.

We soon became familiar with the local community and the residents in it. The children had a park available to them and a pool where they could socialise too.

We stayed in this compound for the next five years.

A gentle prod...

I recall the first time I travelled to Canada to meet with members of a Shamanic community.
 I didnt really know anyone to any great extent yet I was compelled to join them in person and after a few gentle prods I made a decision to go.
Why travel over the ocean to meet with people I barely know?

Firstly, there was realisation that I could make anything happen. I just had to believe it and nourish the idea of it.
Secondly, I broke the illusion that I was indispensable in the family home and I could infact leave my children with their Dad, my husband, for a week and they would not suffer. Any work that was in place where he couldn't look after them was covered by my sister and parents.
Thirdly, there were synchronicities appearing everywhere.

Okay, so some call them coincidence. I am not a believer of those things. If something is going to happen then there has to be a reason for it....oh so I am one of 'those' people who believe in signs? YES.

I had always said that everything happens for a reason. When reading others palms and connecting with others I was always wary of saying something would definitely happen as I believe we, as individuals, have the power to create different things with our lives.

MY eyes were opened and I woke up to life when I lived out in Dubai with my children and husband. I was lonely and had no emotional support network in place. I was pregnant with our second child and knew that my husband wanted it to work for us so I kept everything to myself. I kept my loneliness to myself and all of the issues I had to myself. Not the best idea I have ever had.

After my second son was born I felt isolated. My parents lived in the UK and I had no one to share my new life with. My husband was always working and when he came home he wasn't that happy either. He found it difficult to work with a company that was so different in the way they approached life in general.

We joined a health club to attempt to connect with other ex-patriots and it worked to some extent. Though I soon learned that not everyone had the same ideas and attitudes as I did. Not everyone was reaching out for a network or community as I did.

I recall the turning point for me was when I invited a young Mum, like me, over for tea, cakes and a play date for the kids. I set up cakes and and got toys out ready and then waited for her arrival.
After waiting a half hour past the time we arranged I phoned her and asked her if she was okay. She said she would not be able to make it and brushed it off with an excuse of a friend came over unexpectantly.
I felt hurt. I felt let down and betrayd by her lack of presence.

For perhaps a week I felt low and allowed the feelings to become natural to me. I didnt like how I felt but also knew that I didnt want to continue with the same attitude. Something had to change. Over a period of a week I came to realise that if this pain was to stop, if this loneliness was going to stop, then I had to do something about it. Nobody was going to make me happy....only I could do that. I was responsible.

I stopped looking to my husband and others to make me happy and decided that I wanted to do something for myself. I bought a french learnng package and tried to teach myself. To some extent it got me going, though in the end I gave up as I confused myself with the Welsh language I was learning at the same time.

Alun introduced the internet to me but I just didnt really get it. He said you could spend hours on the internet but it held no interest for me at that point.
It was only when I recalled an interest of mine, from my teenage years, something called reiki, that I used the internet to learn more about it. I looked it up and discovered that a teacher lived in the next Emirate to us. My husband was keen to support me, he wanted me happy too, in any project. So he agreed to help me find this teacher.

In the months that followed I began to develop something for myself. I had a focus and a skill that I could use to connect with people or just keep to myself. My family life became richer and my life itself became better. No onus on anyone else to encourage life only me and my decisions on how I influenced it.

It wasn't so much the Reiki that enabled me to live this way, it was my attitude that had changed. I had been so selfishly blaming others and giving responsibility to others for my happiness when all the time it was me who was responsible.

An individual story.

The theme of stories continues....
All three of my children are completely different. Each of them tells their own very unique story. My eldest, SW (age12),  is the comedian, my middle son, DJ (age 8), the scholar and my youngest son, IR (age4) the acrobat. Each experience they gain opens a new story for them and sometimes when relaying it, it can get more funny, more dramatic and more exciting.

I enjoy spending time with the children and I think the aspect I find difficult in this Role of Mother, is learning how to split my time (or myself) three ways.

When all three of them want to share something its like a race to see who can tell me the loudest and the quickest....My hands go up in the air and whoa....SW may go silent whilst the other two do their best to persist and tell their story. Eventually, my words break through...who spoke first?
I am attempting to teach my children to listen to each others stories so we can all learn together. Its a work in progress LOL.


One way of ensuring some quality time with each of the children is to let them choose an activity that they want to learn.  

Last year SW shared that he wanted to go to bowls. Its not like tenpin bowling. The balls are called  'woods'.  They are weighted and you have to be quite precise how you 'deliver' them to the 'Jack'. To see such a drama loving boy become calm and focused when doing an activity was wonderful. He chose to add to his story this year when he made it to the semifinals of the junior competition.
He learned how to perform, how to overcome nerves how to remain focused and how to do his best by appreciating the experience.
At the end, he played his last match against the reigning champion. He knew it would be a fine thing for him to win yet he played the best match he had played that day. At the end of it all he shook hands and raised his hands above his head to us in a sign of victory. He did really well to get to this point.

 DJ and IR had been indifferent about watching SW at the begininng. They had brought activities to amuse themselves whilst the competition was underway but soon tired of them. As the competition went on they began to sit and were less like monkeys mad about a bunch bananas. By the end of the match they sat watching. Impressed and quiet when the photos were taken by the newspaper asking for me to take one too. They were happy for their brother.
 SW chose this experience, this new chapter to his story. What also impressed me is that by the end of the matches, his brothers were quietly observing and supporting SW also. His story is bigger than perhaps he realises.

I think when we support our kids in those activities that they want to invest their time in, they are rewarded most and so are we.

Story time.

If there is one time in the day that I look forward to more than ever it is story time. We get to cuddle up and become part of a make believe world. There are times the cuddles don't happen as they sit in their bunk beds creating stories with me together.
Our favourite one is about a blue dog called Ned, (our dog is called Ned.) The children make things happen and involve themselves in their characters. One choosing to be a snow leopard and the other a cat, a blue one.

We love reading regular story books too and there is always a flavour of the month....
This months is called Shall We Do That Again? Its about a little brown mouse who spends the day with her Mum. They play all through the day and the little one wants to keep playing but eventually realises she has to sleep.

Now, if I can teach them or at least guide them to connect with this dreaming part of themselves, where they can create anything they want then I am sure they can only grow in confidence and competence. I believe in them and perhaps all they need is to feel that belief from me, I dunno but it works for me...
I shall continue to read, create, share, dream and believe in them....whatever age they may be.
Children have got the best imaginations and dreams ever...
...its worth taking the time to listen, its amazing what they can teach you.